Wednesday, June 2, 2010

11-21-09 (originally)

Everyone is posting on Facebook the things they are thankful for. I feel guilty because there are many things I am thankful for, but my ongoing negative attitude is overshadowing them. Like I am thankful I have a roof over my head, but annoyed that it's here and not where I want it to be, and that I have to share it with 2 other people. I am thankful I have a car to drive, when others I know don't, even though it isn't the car I want to drive, because Scott is having to drive my car. I am thankful for enough food to eat, although I bitch about being overweight. (it's because I am just lazy and hate to exercise) I am thankful I have a husband who loves me, even though I find something to complain about him every day. So how do I get out of this negative state of mind? I have tried. I feel so guilty complaining when I have so much more than others. I complain when my internet is being slow, but yet it 100X faster than what most people I know have. I have always had a negative state of mind, I have always focused more on the negative than the positive. Natural born pessimist I suppose. I hate that quality in me, but I know as much as I try I will still see the glass empty.

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