Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Vampires and feel good movies

Scott and I were watching Underworld today. Very few vampire movies do I dig, but this one is an all time fav. Here are two conversations that resulted from this:

Me: Since they're filming a 4th movie, who will take the role of the Elder, since the previous elders are dead? Maybe it will be Selene.

Scott: No, it'll be Michael

Me: It can't be Michael, he's half vampire half lycan! You can't be half lycan and rule over vampires!!

Scott: Well, Obama leads the United States and wasn't even born here!!

Me: Touche

...and then discussing why I don't like vampire movies-

Me: It isn't that I don't like vampires, I just don't like blood.

Scott: Its horror! You're not supposed to like it

Me: But I do like horror movies, I just don't like people on fire, blood, or knives.

Scott: Well I like it

Me: How can you like seeing people on fire?

Scott- Because it ain't me!

Me: *Giggles*

Scott: It's like a feel good movie for me.

This is why we're never home at the same time.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Matt is tearing us apart!

I come home from work and turn on the oscillating fan. We have such a close relationship, I named him Matt.
Scott glares at me, says "um, hello. I'm under this blanket not because I'm Superman.."
I glare back.

"Why would you NOT have a fan on? It's 104 right now!"

He looks at the a/c, as if that was possibly enough to quench my summer needs.
We go into this long monotonous debate about how I am hot natured, and he's an anemic little girl....

Me- "I hope you know in the winter, we are NOT turn on the heater"
Scott- "like hell! I pay half the utilities, I pay to be comfortable!"
Me- "well that's fine, you sleep in the living room with the heat!"
Scott- "this is NOT Little House on the Prairie! You shouldn't be able to see your breath!"

Scott- "fine if you want to live in the stone age, then I'm digging you a hole outside, and you can shit in it! No toilet for you, you are banned from that luxury".
Me- *giggles*
Scott- "we're starting now, give me your phone".

He is currently sitting on the front porch trying to "warm up". Like a crocodile basking in the sunlight.

Matt+Lisa =Forever

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Lessons in affection

My inspiration.

I have the pleasure of seeing this couple every Monday through Friday.
They have been married to each other over 50 years.
He always opens her door for her.
They walk arm in arm everywhere they go.
He cuts her food, she feeds him his.
They always sit side by side, never across from each other.
When they talk to each other alone, you can see and feel the love they have
for each other. It's like they're on a first date.
Just passing them for a moment makes me want to weep.

I have no idea how to achieve this. I love my husband with every thing I have. I would give up my life in a second for him, no hesitation, no questions asked. I wish I had the capability to have this kind of intimacy with another human being. If Scott were to cut my food, I would be like "dude, I am not retarded". If he sat next to me instead of across from me, I would be thrown off balance and probably fall out of my chair.
I asked him how do we get to that level of impeccability...he said that he was capable. It was me that was emotionally retarded.

So apparently I need to learn affection. Is there an app for that?