I said I wasn't going to share this. But I may as well.
So I decided to have a snack. A bagel with cream cheese. While it was heating in the microwave, I fed the kittens. Smelling my food, however, they follow me in here. I set my food on a paper plate, had a tall glass of water, and was playing Pogo Solitaire with my sister online. I have to hold the plate up when I bite because I always make a mess with the cream cheese, and I save my last bite of bagel to scoop up all the remaining cheese that fell out. Like a true fatty. So while I go to get a drink out of my 2 pound glass, one of the kittens, Reese, went for the plate. Being as one hand was holding the ginormous water glass, I grabbed his belly and tossed him to the foot of the bed. I got a "rannnrrrr" from him, I guess I grabbed in the wrong place, since he just ate. So I finish my bagel, and here comes my yay part, I scooped it up from the plate, put it in my mouth...you guessed it. Not cheese. Apparently I DID squeeze his belly too hard because what I just put in my mouth was shit. That's right. It wasn't kitty poo, or boo boo, I PUT SHIT in my mouth!!
So after a 2 second hyperventilation, I ran to the bathroom, rinsed, brushed, and gargled. Then I had to clean up where I nearly blew chunks.
I can honestly say, that tonight is the end of late night snacking.
I am cured!
Praise be to the Lord!!