Wednesday, December 19, 2012

And OH the shame....

Do you ever just have one of those days where you break everything you touch? I remember having a day where everything went wrong a few years back My Life Needs Bubble Wrap, and today it wasn't much better.
My work shift was 7am-8pm. 7-3 my normal front desk job, and 3-8 our manager's reception. Not that swanky, I cook, I serve beverages, I smile. I have done this countless times, with only one incident to where there was a flood and a fire alarm. My. Bad.

The front desk shift went swimmingly, despite cutting my finger with scissors, cutting my arm on a shelf end, and pinching my finger in a Swiffer. At 3pm, I decided what to cook (Natchitoches Meat Pies), iced down some can drinks, made a vegetable tray. Same ol' same ol' routine.

I cook the meat pies for 30 minutes on 315 degrees. I also put cookies in there for 13 minutes on 315 degrees. You know what I noticed about 9 minutes into it? The oven. ON 400.

Meh, I served them anyway. All 3 trays. I called them "cajun". I always cook the amount of food and cookies based on how many people are in the hotel. I have a fear of running out of food, so I always cook extra. Tonight I cooked an extra pan of meat pies just to be safe.

I make coffee, I go to put the regular out, and pick up the decaf. SOMEHOW, my shirt got stuck on the lever,
and coffee was pouring out all down my side, into MY SHOE!!
It burned.
It's by far the weirdest injury I have ever received at work.
And I have smacked my face by answering the stapler.

After I stop, drop, and roll I put out all the food.
Apparently either a killer whale got VERY hungry, or every one ninja-like all came down at once, because I stick my head out just to appear to be friendly, and 25 minutes into the reception I am out of cookies, and there are SIX meat pies left.
The frack?

I hurriedly put more in the oven, and you guessed it. I burned the cookies again.
I also put out more ice for the drinks, and somehow there was coffee in my ice bucket, because it turned everything brown.

I hate my life.

Finally I get everything going smoothly, I am cleaning as I go, and I hit the lever for the cereal. Cheerios go every where.

This is after I wipe them off the counter. It took 20 minutes to sweep them off the floor.

I finally got everything cleaned up and left without causing any permanent damage to my body or the hotel.

On a happy note, I had this delightful Indian dish for lunch:

I mentioned to Scott about going vegetarian, and he mentioned moving out.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Hobbit in Natchitoches?

So...this was in the Natchitoches Parish police report today. I can't make this up.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The night Matt tried to kill me

As you may know, I have a love affair with my oscillating fan, Matt.
If not, here you go:
Matt is tearing us apart
In which we're the Donner Party
We have had our good times and bad. Now, he's gone and done it.

Let us set the scene:
We watch the movie, V/H/S . Don't do it. Any movie that is filmed with a hand held camera never ends well for me. Paranormal Activity 1-3...I am still recovering. Blair Witch was over 10 years ago, and I still get freaked driving through the woods at night. Cloverfield was the exception. That was just lame.
So I watch this freaked out movie, take a shower, and go to bed. Scott is brushing his teeth, and I decide, of course, it is time for Matt. My knee was hurting already from falling off the porch (I forgot I moved my steps..) so I had it on a pillow on the edge of the bed. When I lean forward to turn on the fan, I put too much weight on the pillow, and head first off the bed I go. I tried to brace myself with my left hand, but when booty & company starting the descend, my entire body shifted, my arm popped, and I was facing the opposite direction.
My back and hip were skinned up, because the bookshelf was an unforgiving wench. I knew my arm was hurting, but not until a minute or so after I stood up, I knew I was in trouble. I fall all the time, so I am used to minor injuries, but this was the Big Mamma Jamma.

My face^^
I wrapped it in a heating pad, propped it up, and then dug in the medicine cabinet for pain relief. I found a Lortab from when Scott was in the hospital.

As soon as I turned out the lights, I saw that half of the bedroom ceiling was lit up. Scott said it wasn't. I was convinced the creatures from the movie were doing something to my brain. I closed one eye, tested it with the other, and the light was still there. TURNS OUT, when I fell I flipped over the surge protector, and there is a dim light that shines. I never see this, because I have it turned the other way. Good to know I am not dying/being attacked. Later I KNOW I am hearing voices, and of course, Scott doesn't hear them. TURNS OUT, it was my iPod blaring through the earbuds that had ended up on the floor. Again, not being attacked by unknown entities.
It also turns out I am a lightweight in the drug department. I do believe I was levitating and I saw the Pyramids, Niagara Falls, and Woodstock. This little generic Lortab to me was what I can only assume be a Valium/Methadone mix for others.

However, I survived Hyperextended Elbow 2012.
Thank you to all my coworkers for helping me out when I couldn't use the stapler or get my money out of my pants.

Alternating between sling and ace bandage, I managed to work without whining.
I lied about the whining.

Monday, October 1, 2012

September 2012

September, like the past few months, was for the most part, uneventful.
Some stuff changed at work, it sucks, but I am thankful to God for my job, and I love it, and will continue to give it my all.

I discovered Rock Band:

I suck at the guitar, but found my niche with the drums:

You did not want to see the things I blurred out.

I have incriminating videos and pics of my fellow band mates :)

If anyone plays on Pogo, you know what time it is!! SPOOKY SLOTS!!!
I wait all year for this.

It also makes me happy that after weeks of waiting, I was able to hang my Halloween pot holders.

I am working on a wreath, and depending on how it turns out, I may/may not post a pic of it :)

Buy this album!!!

That is, of course if you LOVE to hear two awesome Swedish guys play the cello:

I started my reading roulette. For folks that don't know what that is, like, everyone, it is how I read and not lose interest. I know I do not have ADD, but lately when I read I lose interest, even when it is a very interesting book. So, I usually get 2 or 3 books, or in this case, 7, and read a chapter at a time.

I am currently reading The Scorch Trials, The Scarpetta Factor, Ice Station, The Mill River Recluse (on Kindle), finishing my Bible in a year (or in this case 3) reading, and I am rereading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and The Lost Symbol. Don't even think about trying to sit on the loveseat.

Read this!!!
The Maze Runner

I blogged:
Survey Saturday

The Miracle Diet

I cooked new things:
Onion Dip

Ham and Cheese Dinner Rolls

So yeah. Not much happened.
Here are some random pics.
Have a great October!!!
Anything is better than last year! :)
I Saw No Great Pumpkin

Callie getting ready to run in front of my feet while I run

If only I had shelf space

The weird things you see at my job

Oh to be this cool

Lost a great lady I love very much

No words...

I looked for this shoe for over a month. I should dust the bedroom more

The best $10 you can spend. Gyro salad.

Word. From The Word.

Fun times with my sister.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Survey Saturday

What was the highlight of your week?
I found the Grape Energy Crystal Light at Brookshires. What?

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
I am sure right before bedtime.

What color shirt are you wearing?

How long is your hair?
Curly, right above my shoulders

Last movie you watched?
I think it was "The Color Purple"

Who were you with?
I am alone, Scott it at work

Last thing you ate?
I am sure it was cheese related

Last thing you drank?
Mandarin Orange water. I have Grape Crystal Light now, so it's okay.

When was the last time you had your heart broken?

Who came over last?
Rebecca and Bailey. We had a Rock Band Party.

Then I got on the drums. Sh** got real...
I blurred out the things you did NOT want to see:

They took a video, that will remain forever hidden. Apparently I take drum playing very seriously....

Are you happy right now?
I am not unhappy.

What did you say last?
I screeched something at the dog. Now she is pouting:

Where is your phone?
On my leg.

Are you left-handed?
Indeed I am

Favorite Vacation?
It was just a 2 day trip, but Scott and I went to Atlanta to see the Braves play a couple of years ago, it was just a really good day. We have been on bigger and better "real" vacations, but that was just a special day.

What do you dislike currently?
I drank all of my beverage, and the fridge is so far away.

What are you listening to?
Ed Sheeran's "Give Me Love"

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
A beverage....hello....

What is your favorite scent?
The first really cold morning of the year

Who makes you happiest?
I have pretty awesome family

What were you doing at midnight last night?

When is your birthday?
November 13.
Amazon Wish List
Where was the last place you bought something?
The grocery store. Fat girl gotta eat..

How do you feel about your hair right now?
How do YOU feel about my hair?

Do you have any hidden talents?
Why, what have you heard?

Favorite Song?
"Your Winter", Sister Hazel

Do you like to sing at all?
I enjoy it. Others, not so much

Dream Job?
I would love to get paid to read books all day.

Where does most of your family live?
Same house, same street as always

What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
It can't possibly be 5:20am already...

Know any other languages?

Have you ever been IN a wedding?
I have.

Did you take a nap today?
I still don't think I am fully awake from it

Who has the same birthday as you?

^^^^^this guy^^^^^^^
Sorry ladies, he is spoken for

Ever met anyone famous before?
I have

Do you want to be famous one day?
No thank you

What is your least favorite chore?
I really despise laundry

What is your average cell phone bill?
$190 ish for both of our Androids

When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
Every day, I am hilarious

How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
1 and 1

Do you like rollercoasters?
Not at all

Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
I have several ones I like, but not *one* favorite

Last thing you cooked?
Turkey and Cheese Sliders

How's the weather?

Do you e-mail?
I do. How very 90's of me

What states have you lived in?

Do you wish you could move?
No. It took me 9 years to get here

Have you ever wanted someone you can't have?
Yes, and I thank the Good Lord for unanswered prayers

Are you happy with your life?
I really am. I have a job I love, a vehicle that runs, a very loving and understanding husband, the best mama, and 2 very cool sisters. And a germaphobe brother in law. I have a house that is small, but easy to clean. Neighbors that are loud, but leave me alone. An endless supply of books. Blank paper and pens. 4 boxes of Crystal Light, Diet Mtn Dew in case of an emergency, and clean clothes in the dryer.

Life is good.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Recipes: Onion Dip

This is one of the things I make where I can't decide if I like it or not. Now don't get me wrong, I ate over half of it, but there is just something about it that I can't put my finger on. It tastes delightful. It sounds retarded, but it tastes sweet. I know, I use sweet onions, blah blah. Next time I will add salt.
AND, it makes your house smell rank for at least 2 days.
But enjoyable.

Take 2 sweet onions. Slice. Put 2-3 tbl of olive oil in a skillet.

Add the onions and stir occasionally until caramelized. It took about 25 minutes of complaining that my eyes are burning until I took them out. When they're brown and sticky, you're good to go.
Put them in a bowl, stick them in the fridge for about 45 minutes.

When they are good and cold, dig out your blender, and if you don't have one, those 45 minutes are a good time to go get one.
Add 1/2 cup of buttermilk, a teaspoon of salt, and a cup of sour cream.

And yeah, from the finger down is how much buttermilk I have left in my fridge. It's yours. Please come get it.


Stick it back in the fridge for about an hour.

The first night I ate it with chips, but the second day I decided to be healthy and crap and ate it with raw green beans. Try it. Delish.


Friday, September 14, 2012

Recipes: Ham and Cheese Dinner Rolls

These make me weep like a small child. Until I decide to stop doing my "hell diet" three days a week, I appreciate food a lot more the day before and day after. Today, I wanted something super nom, so I gave these a shot.

Super simple.

Melt a stick and a half of butter in a skillet.
Add a swish of Worcestershire sauce and about 3 tbl of Dijon mustard.
Have your husband You yourself chop up an onion.
Mix all of this together, simmer for a couple of minutes.

Take Hawaiian rolls, slice them sideways, separating the tops from the bottom, leaving them intact.
Grease a 9x13 pan, otherwise known as "not the blue one" at my house, and lay out the bottom half of the rolls.

Spread half of the butter/onion mixture on the rolls.

Add some thin sliced deli ham, and cheese of your choice. I <3 Provolone.

Top with the buns, and spread the remaining mixture of onion/butter on top.

Cover, and pop in a 350 oven for about 17 minutes. I did it for 20, and the bottom was a bit burned.


Friday, September 7, 2012

The "miracle" diet

I have never in my life went on a "diet". I know I don't have the willpower, so I never attempted. I have in the past few months stayed *near* 1700 calories a day, and walked 8 miles a week.
I found on Pinterest, a diet that was "clinically proven" to work. 3 days a week, eat only certain foods, and the other 4 days eat whatever you want, in moderation.

Day One of diet:

1/2 grapefruit
1 slice toast (no butter)
2 tablespoons peanut butter

I just put the peanut butter on a piece of wheat bread and downed it with water.
I held my nose and ate about 4 bites of grapefruit. I then tried to find the dog to lick its butt to get the taste out of my mouth.

Oh yeah. The hard part. Only water. Do you know how much caffeine I consume in one day? This is not going to end well.

1/2 can tuna
1 slice of toast

I just used prepackaged tuna that was a little less than half a can.

1/2 banana
1 cup of green beans
3 oz of meat
1 small apple
1 cup of vanilla ice cream

I ate 3 slices of packaged turkey (1 oz a slice)
I diced the apple and put sugar free vanilla ice cream on top, and microwaved it for 12 seconds. Delish.

I didn't cheat the entire day. I walked 2.4 miles.
My head hurts.

Day Two of Hell Diet:

At 1:30am my head was throbbing so bad, presumably from lack of caffeine, that all of the precious food I consumed came right back up.

Now I am super starving, with a headache, and my breath stinks.

1 egg
1 slice of toast
1/2 a banana

I ate a hard boiled egg, actually put the wheat bread in the toaster for about 45 seconds, and sucked down that banana like it was Surf and Turf.

Let me also bring up this point. I eat at work, because let's face it, the food there is delicious, and my two favorite things our lovely breakfast hostess makes are Bagel Toppers and Turkey Sausage.
What was for breakfast yesterday you might ask? Bagel Toppers.
And today? Turkey Sausage.
Also ABC showed a marathon of Church's Chicken commercials all flippin day.

I am starving.

1 cup of cottage cheese
5 Saltine crackers
1 hard boiled egg

Normally I would see this food and never give it a thought. Today I sucked down this glorious meal like it was a fajita and a Klondike Bar.

Someone just offered me a soda.

I bit their throat out.

2 hot dogs, no buns (they mean WEENIES)
1/2 cup carrots
1 cup of broccoli
1/2 banana
1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream

"Possibly the best meal I have eaten in my life" - No One

We didn't walk tonight, but I did mow the ditch and the front and side of our yard. According to, I burned 879 calories. If this is true, then I will never burn a measly 270 by walking 2 miles, and will open my own business mowing people's yard as long as they provide Diet Mtn Dew and Doritos. 879 calories burned for 75 minutes?

Did I mention my husband made hamburgers yesterday? I thought about licking the plastic that covered the ground beef, but chose otherwise.

I have spent the majority of this evening on Pinterest and various recipe sites with my mouth actually watering looking at dinner ideas.
This is my porn.

I did cheat today and ate a bite of cauliflower, and let me tell you, it was like a Triple Baconator in my mouth.

I am starving, and if I hear Scott open one more Dt Mtn Dew, I will tear his face off.

Tomorrow is the least amount of food yet. Maybe someone will drop a bean on the ground and I can imply the 3 second rule.
Day 3 of the "I going to sell my soul for corn" diet:

Well I did it. I survived these 3 days without murdering someone, getting fired, or getting divorced.

My attitude on life has improved so much in these 3 days:

5 Saltine crackers
1 slice of cheese
1 small apple

Shut up, I even ate the apple stem

1 hard boiled egg
1 slice of toast

1 cup of tuna
1/2 banana
1 cup of ice cream

I can't believe I am not dead.

The final weigh in?
7.2 pounds.
I was excited that I lost anything, for the sacrifice of caffeine.
I was also disappointed that it worked, and now I will have to keep doing it.
When I reach my goal, I will post the final results.
That is, if I am not dead or in jail from mood swings.