Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My life needs bubble wrap.

This has been the most insane day! I woke up, hot as Hades, because lately when the a/c compressor kicks off, the power in our bed/bathroom, the living room tv/cable box, the light over the stove, and the back porch light cut off. No breakers are tripped, inside or out. You want to know how we get the power back on? We turn on the stove. I can't make this up. No word on when this may get fixed, but for now, at night when it gets cooler, we turn off the air.
So I wake up hot, and can't open my left eye. I go to the (dark) bathroom, and see it's swollen, matted and covered in eye snot. Sexy. I cleaned it up and discovered I have a sty on the bottom of the upper lid. Luckily every time I blink, it feels like knives.
I was hot because the air had cut itself off, saying the filter needed replacing, which it did not, and it was clean. I was going to change it anyway, but the 5 filters that were tossed on top of the pantry did not fit. Why do we have them if they are unusable? I asked this also... So until 3:30pm there was no a/c. Finally it just cut on. **shakes my head**

So since it felt like New Delhi in Summer all over the house, I decided against using the oven, so I broke out the roaster I got for Christmas. Why I don't use this more, I have no idea. After spending no less than 15 minutes trying to figure out how to place the rack in it to put the chicken on, and it's simple as placing it handles up, I cursed a little. Rain Man could've figured it out faster. Scott told me 4 times "don't burn yourself", and 4 times I yelled "I am not retarded!!" Here is a picture of my burn...

(pay attention to the heater, keyboard, and glass in the background...)

So it's bedtime. I've made it this far without causing permanent damage to myself or material objects. I finally get in the bed, and oh yay, the power goes out. With the a/c already off. Not even going to think about that right now. Scott gets in bed, and I remember about these chips I tried yesterday that made me run like the time I was being chased by geese, to get water. (insert horrid childhood flashback here) He eats them, no problem. I offered him some Dt Mtn Dew, and he said "I'm not drinking that 3-day old sh**", which makes me laugh and spew it all over him, the sheets, the wall, and the keyboard. (I've been known to keep a bottle of water on my nightstand for a couple of days until I throw it out).
So after I cleaned up half the room, and blew the Mtn Dew out of my nose, it was Facebook/Pogo time!! yay. My day is almost over, and I am still intact. I get my Blackberry, my headphones, my non 3-day old Mtn Dew, and get all comfy in the recliner. I push it all the way back. Given my track record, this is not a good idea. I decide I need to stretch. Overzealous I was. I felt the chair starting to tip, and for a quick second I thought, "Lord, You can't be this funny". But yes. Next thing I know my legs are in the air, the laptop that WAS in my lap hit my lip, the drink poured on my shoulder, and my head hit the heater and keyboard on the side of the bed. Scott jumped up, and said "stop being retarded", and grabbed his laptop. Thanks honey. Glad you have priorities.

He had just lectured me before bed that I am electronically challenged, that every thing I touch breaks. He rocks back and forth whenever I use his laptop. Mine is still in ICU from me bumping into the shelf, which knocked a metal frame off of the wall and injured my laptop a couple of nights ago. I am still searching for the missing key. And the CD-ROM stopped working a while back. And the mouse. And the keys stick. And I spilled nail polish remover in it....

But on a happy note, Gain sent me a sample of their dish detergent. I have 4 bottles now...

SO anyway, I am going to bed shortly. I think it's best for everyone.

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