It's amazing as something as simple as picking my husband up from work can be such an adventure.
I go to pull out of our driveway, and I see a truck coming, similar to my dad's, and the fact that it was going no more than 10mph, I was sure it was him. But, it was not. It was a transvestite. True story. So I get behind this "lady" driving a truck, and no exaggeration she is going 10mph. I never got over 10 the entire way. It looked like an 11 year old who is first learning to drive. The truck went to the left, to the right, when it would veer to one side, she would jerk the wheel. She keep adjusting the side mirrors as to be assured she could glare into my soul. Her reckless driving never stopped her and her female passenger from flicking their cigarette ashes out of the back glass. FINALLY towards the end of our road where it meets the highway she cuts to the right on onto a side road.
I then see why.
Now our road isn't one lane, but both cars have to go to the right side to pass each other. There is an 18 wheeler backing up towards me, bright orange, reverse beepers all beeping at me. I can't go forwards, and I can't go backwards, because truck-tranny has backed up traffic. I am trying to figure out what to do, then 4 Mexicans appear from both sides of the truck waving their arms in motions I do not understand in English nor Spanish. The angry 18 wheeler from Maximum Overdrive stops, and we're being waved around. In Spanish. I have to come to a complete stop while on the left side passing this monstrosity because cars from the opposite side are starting to come as well. In the midst of all the confusion what then happens?
A VULTURE LANDS ON MY HOOD!!!
Just like BAM! All up on the hood. I'm like WHAT NEXT!!! It flew away when I started to move, what WHAT THE CRAP!! REALLY!!!
Once I finally get on the highway, I just floor it. I don't care what I encounter for the next 7 miles, I am running over it.
So there you go. You're life is a little more complete now that you know this story.