Me: Thank you for calling *where I work* how may I help you?
Guest: I need to make a reservation.
Me: Alright, when would you like to stay with us?
Me: What date will you be arriving?
Guest: Say that again.
Me: When are you coming to *our city*?
Guest: I am not sure.
Guest: I am looking at the calendar and I am not sure when I need to be there.
Me: *cricket chirp*
Guest: How about you just book me the month of February and I will let you know day to day.
Me: Alright sir, just be sure to let us know daily if you aren't going to arrive, otherwise the reservation will automatically cancel.
Guest: I don't understand.
What name would you like to put that under?
Guest: You need my name?
Me: Yes sir, or the guest that will be staying in the room.
Guest: I will be staying in the room.
Me: And your name sir?
Guest: *tells me*
Me: And the address?
Guest: Who's address?
Me: I need an address, phone number, and credit card to complete the reservation.
Me: Standard procedure sir, I can't complete the reservation without it.
Guest: I am not comfortable giving you stuff you don't really need.
Me: I apologize sir, but I can't complete the reservation without it.
Guest: I have never had to give it before.
Me: Are you a *company* member?
Guest: a what?
Me: Have you stayed with our franchise before?
Guest: Why are you asking me this? It doesn't make any sense. I think I need to stay somewhere else, I feel like I am getting scammed.
Me: I assure you sir, your information is secure with us.
Guest: I have stayed with Holiday Inn's all over and never had to give my Social Security number!!
Me: *not having a clue where THAT came from*
Sir this isn't the Holiday Inn. This is *where I work*
Guest: Oh. I am sorry. Wrong number *click*