Sunday, December 29, 2013

Why women baffle men

I was on The Facebook and saw this. I chuckled out loud. It's my entire life summed up into 16 sentences.
I knew I was a tad bit different than other people, Scott will confirm that, but now I know it isn't just me.

16 THINGS WOMEN DO TO BAFFLE MEN

I can relate to this:


This is pretty much my entire day today:


Scott is pretty affectionate, but this is kind of us:


True this!! I will buy something I sort of like just because it is on sale:


This needs to be tattoed somewhere on my body:


I have, on more than one occasion, cancelled plans because "nothing fit right", and "my hair is too nappy":


This is the opposite of us!! I can't ever get him to tell me anything:


And I will get ticked off if he doesn't acknowledge the fact I am ignoring him, so I can say "stop talking to me!!!"


As long as he keeps making me sandwiches and brushes his teeth, there is no need for change.


A-MEN


Well....I like *some* women


Again..this is me. I tell you I am fine. I am NOT fine. You ask me what I want to eat. I am screaming PIZZA!!!! inside, but "whatever you want" comes out. I say "no I don't need that purse but what I say is "OMG WHY are you putting it back on the shelf!! I WANT IT!!!!


Meh, I just need chocolate.



I have 3 minutes allotted for makeup time. Have you seen my hair? 15 minutes tops getting ready.
Old married lady talk, I am at the "meh, why bother" stage. Scott tells me "you look like that anyway, so what does it matter"


Now this...this here I do all the time. Not so much the calorie issue (I mean come on), but I will order my food, he orders his, I stare at him, and he'll go "Oh and a Blooming Onion", or "and another chili dog". I know that they know the food is for me, but still....somehow it matters.


This is probably the most "me" of all. I want Scott to open my doors, and help with the housework, but I will pick up 5 things, he offers to help, and I get mad thinking he thinks I can't do it. Or trying to open something, knowing I can't, and I get mad when he takes it from me. I like it when he does the dishes, but then I think "well does he think I can't do them!!!"


Our relationship can be summed up in two P!nk songs:
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) and
True Love

Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say
Sometimes I wanna slap you in your whole face
There's no one quite like you
You push all my buttons down
I know life would suck without you

At the same time, I wanna hug you
I wanna wrap my hands around your neck
You're an asshole but I love you
And you make me so mad I ask myself
Why I'm still here, or where could I go
You're the only love I've ever known
But I hate you, I really hate you,
So much, I think it must be

True love

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