Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Week 24 of 2014

7 days, 7 confessions:

I ate Doritos for breakfast.

I spent almost $40 on a bag I convinced myself I needed for work.

There was a wet spot on the floor next to the cat. I wiped it up with the cat.

At work in the restroom, I went in, sat there a couple minutes on my phone, then while washing my hands someone walked in. I forgot to lock the door.

And....I did it again the very next day. I am going to cause someone to have a heart attack.

We went to bed way before the sun went down, and felt zero guilt.

A week or so ago, Scott suspected a mouse in our pantry, as it ate a corner of our tortilla chip bag. Two traps were set in the pantry, one under the stove, and one in a cabinet. For days we check these traps and nothing. Scott buys heavy duty, big ass glue traps. We put one on the pantry floor, and one on a shelf. We get up this morning, open the door....the trap is gone. GONE. Where did it go? The crack under the door is too small for this trap to go under. I am concerned. And possibly want to move.

I think the only tv I have watched for a couple weeks is Pretty Little Liars. Of course it takes me three days to finish an episode, but I will get there.

I haven't started any new books, but I am making progress on A Fault in Our Stars. So far, so good.

A never used flip flop and a box. The struggle is real.

I thought I was done, but there were more to steal!

OK, now I am done.

On honor of Father's Day:
Babies excited to see their dad come home

And on a personal note:

My cousin posted this on Facebook. Too good not to share:

I told Laura the story, and she had tears streaming...

I close out this week feeling smarter:
15 Dumbest Patients that Doctors had to Deal With:
1. "I am never going to have a baby because the hospitals don't wash them anymore".
She is 30.
2. Once had a female patient who didn't know that having sex would lead to pregnancy. She had no idea.
3. After looking at the patients chart and seeing that she had diabetes-
Me: Do you have any medical conditions?
Patient: No
Me: Are you sure, you've never been told you have any diseases?
Patient: Never
Me: What medications do you take?
Patient: Insulin..for my diabetes.
4. A middle aged lady in the operating theatre once told us at the last minute (as she was being wheeled in) that she's allergic to latex. Everyone freaks out because so much stuff we use in surgery has latex in it, so we take her to the latex free surgery and do her surgery there. When she's in recovery and awake I inquire as to what reaction she has to latex. "I just don't really like the sound the latex gloves make, dear." I just turned around and walked out.
5. "No my fiancee and I don't want our daughter to have any of the vaccines, vitamin K shot, antibiotic eye ointment,or PKU testing. It's poison. Poking her with the needle is worse than the 'cold' she'd get without the poison'." He then drove his newborn daughter and fiancee home in a car that absolutely reeked of week and cigarettes.
6.A 20-something year old patient comes to ER, chief complaint on the board is "private." This should be good. Go in, he is visibly depressed and sad. Tells a story about how he was intimate with a woman, didn't use protection, and after he noticed she had a "plastic box on her". When she told it was an insulin pump for diabetes he was mortified. Came in immediately to be tested for diabetes.
7. "I had asthma when I was a child, so stop ****ing patronizing me and telling me how to raise my daughter just because you think you're smarter than me". Leaves hospital.
Back in hospital two hours later; six year old daughter in respiratory failure and admitted to ICU.
8. "Don't eat or drink anything after midnight" before his 3 year old daughter's surgery the next morning. (tonsils and adenoids". While intubating his daughter the next morning, she vomited scrambled eggs, causing her to aspirate them into her lungs. Her heart stopped, and I did chest compressions on her for 25 minutes. We got her back, aborted the surgery, and transferred her to pediatric ICU on a ventilator. Her father's response..."She said she was hungry. I thought you were being too hard on her. It must have been something you did to her.
9.Patient had to be told that the reason her son was getting sick at school every day was because she was packing him peanut butter sandwiches and he was allergic to peanuts. She honestly did not know that peanuts was an ingredient in peanut butter, and the child was in middle school, and wasn't bright enough to realize it himself.
10.Had a lady measure her baby's temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting on ehand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead. She told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees.
11.The best was the woman who was feeding her 3 month old dog every few days for no other reason than she thought a dog should only eat that often. Came in for hypoglycemia (of course).
The nurse who spoke with her has no patience for this kind of hacked ignorance, and shouted at her "DO YOU EAT EVERY THREE DAYS?!"
12. Once had a patient who was prescribed an inhaler for his cat allergy. He came back a week later saying he was none the better. Turns out he was spraying the inhaler on his cat.
13. A woman was prescribed estrogen patches and told to stick on patch on herself every day.
At the next follow-up she said she didn't like the patched because she'd been "running out of space".
She was unaware she had to remove the old patched, and she indeed was covered in sticky patches.
14. Mom brought her kids to the ER after they ate all of their Halloween candy because they had tummmy achew. They were still eating Reese's peanut butter cups when they were in the exam room. I had to explain to her that they need to cut back on the candy and she looked at me like I had three heads.

Have a nice day.

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