Friday, May 31, 2013

In which I am not dead in this very long month of May

May 1-
We are all adjusting to the new place. I for one love the extra space, but sheesh that is a lot to dust, sweep, and mop!

May 2-
An off day I will remember. I didn't do much, cleaned out the two spare rooms, and finished unpacking. I also fell head first into a wall and hit the floor. How am I in one piece?
Decided to be a lazy wife and have pizza for dinner.

Callie isn't adjusting that well.
Here is she is on 3 different days. We are in the spare room where I throw all of the junk. AKA, the best room to get internet signal.

Looking at our old place.

May 3-
Today was good, but exhausting. Both of my off days I have looked forward to so I could sleep in, and I got up at 6:20am both days. Today I took Scott to work, came home, watched Criminal Minds..I can't stop. I picked up Bailey at 10 and we went to town. IDK if she has ever been inside The Dollar Tree, but it's her new favorite store. I spent $24. *hangs my head* Onto Walmart for stuff the Tree didn't have. Lunch at El Nopal

Dropped her off at home, went back to Natchitoches a third time to pick up Scott from work and go *back* to Walmart to get coax cable and all the stuff I forgot the first time. Onto Brookshires for groceries, then FINALLY home.

I sat down for less than a minute and then tackled the grass in the backyard. I don't know the last time it has been mowed by the previous tenants, but it was so high in some places I could not physically push the mower, I had to pull it.

Once I came inside and sat down, I was gone. I think I made it through one episode of Criminal Minds and then I went to bed. Maybe the sun was all the way down?

May the Fourth Be with You-

Was going through older pics today:

My daddy always read the paper while sitting in the driveway

Waking up to this was scary that morning. Very Creepy-Katie

I messaged her and said "WHAT was I wearing?"

Lazy Saturday. Worked, went home, tried to nap. Didn't happen. Watched Criminal Minds. That is all.

May the 5th-
How an I be so tired from doing absolutely nothing yesterday?

Work went smooth. Came home, napped on the couch while NASCAR was on a rain delay. At the beginning of the season I considered going to this race. I am glad I changed my mind. It was over 8 hours. Plus there was rain and hail. And all the drivers I like barely finished.

Now onto Criminal Minds!!!

I didn't believe real people actually wore their sweaters like this:

May 6-
The next 2 weeks are going to throw my routine-based self off. Instead of 7-3, I will work 12-8. Which means I get up with Scott, take him to work, drive home, drive back at noon, he drives home at 3, then drives back up there when I get off. Who doesn't love $40 in gas every other day?
I know it isn't permanent though, and I do get to go back to sleep if I want. Which today I did.
Work was good, Rebecca came over around 11pm and dyed my hair. It looks red to me.

I love seeing Goth people doing normal things

May 7-
I have no idea how I drove home without falling asleep after dropping Scott off from work. I slept until after 10, got up in time to eat breakfast/lunch, get dressed for work, and drive there.
I made pizza rolls for tonight's snack. You see this thing?

It is what you rest the tongs on.
I see a man using this as a SHOVEL, piling pizza rolls upon pizza rolls into his plate. My first reaction was the tongs fell on the floor or he didn't see them and this was so he wouldn't have to touch them with his hands. Wrong. I snapped a pic when he came BACK for MORE!!! I had to cook an entire box extra because of this one man!!

Now we are home, and having a salad and a bologna sandwich for dinner. Who says I am not wife of the year?

May 8-
Come on weekend!!!

A few months back I wrote about a horrible day where everything went wrong for me at work.(And, OH the Shame) Today was just like that. Everything was cool until around 3. At 3 everyone started checking in at once. One dude was weirded out about the way his secretary worded his name on his reservation. One dude brought me his key and said "we were supposed to have a double" and I looked at his reservation and said "yes sir, you are in a double, room 206", and he said "well I went in 208 because the door was open and it is a king". I just kind of looked at him and smiled, "well 206 is yours, the keys will work in it perfectly". He smiled and walked away. I died a little from not shouting MORON to his face. Then I go to make the deposit, like I do every single shift of my work day. Yep, I did it all wrong. When I was trying to fix it, a woman comes in, walks to the back of the lobby, and shouts her name and says "Honey check me in"....she has no reservation. She is watching the Arias verdict and was annoyed when I asked her silly questions like her FREAKING INFORMATION!!! Moving on. I go to do the reception. I realize at 4:15 (the reception begins at 5) that the oven was never turned on. I am making meatballs that normally take a good 90 minutes to cook. I get them ready, toss them in the oven, make a vegetable tray, and when I go to put it in the fridge, I open the door, and 2 gallons of milk fall out. One was near empty, the other, not so much. It went all over the floor, the cabinets, my pants, and most importantly, my shoes. I cried.

I also dropped the vegetable tray. Upon making a new one, I cut my finger chopping the celery.

I....could be dead.
So I am trying to get the milk cleaned up, it's knocking 5pm, and I realize I haven't made coffee yet. I have done this hundreds of time. Today though, meh. I don't know how coffee managed to go EVERYWHERE, but most of it went inside my shoe. By this time, I am a walking latte.

I mop up the spilled coffee near the front of the lobby, I go to get ice for the sodas and you guess it, I hit the wet floor and nearly fall. Dropping the buckets I had in my hands. More wetness. They laughed at me. It's cool.
It's right at 5, I go to take out the cookies that I miraculously did not burn, check on the meatballs and they are still frozen. I hate my life.
SOMEHOW I get everything out, to perfection, on time.
The rest of the night went okay.
I came home, didn't even eat dinner, showered, and went to bed.

May 9-
I have been dreading this work day for weeks now, but it actually turned out okay.
I was excited that it started to rain, it sounded wonderful and made it so much cooler, and the Braves game was nice....then this happened:

Yeah. I went to bed.

May 10-
Kayla and I switched off days, so I am listening to last night Braves game and enjoying a lovely healthy breakfast of Diet Mtn Dew and Doritos. It was either that or a bowl of shredded wheat.
I have no idea what to do with myself. This is the first off day where I didn't have anywhere to go and the house is complete, minus the outside that we have to pressure wash. I have some laundry to do, but other than that, it's finally all done. Oh balls. I forgot about the doors that need painting. Meh. They can wait.

I read most of the day. I made progress on The 5th Assassin and Divergent, and started The Bone Bed, The Halo Revelations, Ancient Revenge, and started rereading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and The Chronicles of Narnia.

I don't even remember going to bed.

May 11-
I went into work with the mindset that this was going to be the worst day ever, and I am over halfway through and it has been NICE!!

Just so you know.

May 12-
Nice off day, minus stepping in glass and then breaking the piece of in my foot.
Scott got on the floor, then couldn't get up.
I giggled:

May 13-
The glass is still in my foot. I...could be dead.

May 14-
My evening was ruined last night by a text reminding me I had to work this morning. I thought I was doing the 12-8 thing. I didn't prepare lunch-wise, so now I am starving. I could be dead by 3.

I didn't die, but I came so close.

Scott cooked dinner, and then did the dishes. Maybe I am dying and he's making me comfortable before passing.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Chronicles of Narnia, #2)The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If I had not watched the movie first, the book would be very lacking. For example, after Aslan brings all the stone statues back to life, they rally the troops and go to war. The war in the movie was a good twenty minutes, basically the climax of the entire film. In the book, the chapter begins, "and the war was over no quicker than it began. The witch was dead". Nothing. Nada. Lucy discovers the wardrobe and is in Narnia on page 3 of the book. Not much back story. I did enjoy it, however, and I am looking forward to finishing the entire Chronicles.

View all my reviews

May 15-

The Fifth AssassinThe Fifth Assassin by Brad Meltzer

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

In true Brad Meltzer fashion, this book wowed me. It has everything I love. History, conspiracy, and facts. A work of fiction with enough truth to make me ready for a new book!! #TeamNico

View all my reviews

May 16-
Seeing Ethan in the yard, I was reminded of how much fun and carefree being a kid is.

...and then he got caught playing in the water:

May 17-
This day I thought would never end. I get up at 6:30, go pick up my mom's car, go back home, get on the couch, turn on Criminal Minds.
At 10, I get a phone call. My cousin Tracy wants me to take one (of five) of her Chihuahua's. I hate, and I am using the word HATE...Chihuahua's. Except this dog. I have always been in love with this dog.

Of course I will take her! Reminder, Callie is the most insanely jealous dog on the planet, but hey, in my brain, this will work out.

Bailey and I went to town, ate lunch at El Nopal.
I actually got something different:


We watched 12 hours of Criminal Minds.

As soon as my mother brought Shug over, Callie immediately went nuts trying to smell her, and jump her very large butt in my lap.
Once Shug, or Shuggie, as they affectionately call her, got settled in, Callie still didn't calm down. If you tried to pet the little dog, she would interject herself in between you and her.

She even jumped up on the couch between Scott and I.
This went on all day and into the night.

I think Shug is part rat, because she has to walk along the edge of things. She won't walk across the rug, she walks along the edge of it, she walks up against the wall, and up against the furniture.

Bailey was giving her bites of chicken tenders, and then I moved her to the couch. Bailey resumed eating. The dog was like "um excuse me?"

Callie is pouting that the new dog is here:

I was told that *sometimes* she makes a sound like a siren or a car alarm.
That is correct.
At 11ish, we turned out all the light and got in bed. Simple right? Wrong.
"whoooop! whooooop!!"
I had to go in, assure her we were there, and turn on the tv.
I go to bed again.
I forget to put my uniforms in the dryer. Get up, throw in dryer, turn it on, go back to bed.
I get comfy, snuggle down, and then I hear what sounds like a Coinstar machine in the dryer. I get back up, take everything out until I find the freaking quarter, throw them all back in, get back in the bed.
Sleep. Yay.

3:00am- WHOOOP WHOOOP!!!!
I get up, turn on a lamp, say "hey Shuggie, we are here"..through gritted teeth.

Go back to bed.


May 18-
OMG this dog is such a diva.

They are literally staring at the wall:

Mother and I went to Brandy's wedding shower today. I didn't die. You know I love you if I come to one of these things.

Spent the rest of the day/evening complaining about how hot it was and watching the All Star race only to fall asleep and miss the ending.

She not so subtly stalks Scott when he eats:

Which brings Callie into the picture..

May 19-
Once we got in bed, I feel asleep immediately. Diva dog started doing the siren thing, so Scott picked her up, inside her bed, carried it like a taco to the bedroom and sat her on the floor. We then fell asleep.
Until 4am.
She was on my side of the bed, whining and barking, so I pick her up, put her between us and went back to sleep.
I slept til 7am.

We went to Jason's where he cooked a ton of crawfish:

This was one of maybe 8 piles.

Halfway through, his mom, Mrs. Kathy, realized that her shirt was on backward, LOL

Criminal Minds, then bed.

May 20-

Just not a good day all around.

It is getting so hot in our house, that despite stomping my foot saying "I AM NOT", I had to cover the kitchen windows with dark curtains. I love to see out and have sunlight beaming in. Not when it makes it over 80 degrees and our air has not shut off in 2 days. One simply does not have the funds for that.
And since I can't see out of my bedroom because of the ginormous headboard I put in front of the window, I went ahead and put aluminum foil over it, that will help me sleep at night. The street light that shines in is so bright that I can read by it. True story. And it keeps the evening sun out.

So we are officially in a cave.

Nothing major happened today, just me feeling sorry for myself when things don't go my way. I didn't get the cat that I have been waiting for. I tried to fix my lunches for the week and on both recipes I either didn't have something I bought or the nasty avocados from the grocery store we bought 4 days ago have already spoiled. lunch. A friend invited me to Alexandria for a get together, but seeing as our truck does not have air conditioning, there is no way. Just a trip to Natchitoches and back and I had sweat pooling all over my body and dripping of of my face.
Woe is me, I am going to bed.

There was a death in the family:

May 21- is not getting any better. When I went to bed I checked my phone to make sure the alarm was set for 5:20am. I had to wash my hair before work. I turn the alarm clock away from me, same time as my phone, and went to sleep.
I woke up at 4:20am, according to my clock, and went back to sleep. The next thing I know Scott's alarm is screaming. I said "WHAT IS THAT!!", it was his alarm, and it was after 6. My alarm clock says 5:10am. My phone was dead. I had 20 minutes to dewrinkle my clothes, shower, fix my lunch, and figure out what to do with my hair that was so icky I couldn't even get it to go in a ponytail.
We finally get out the door at 6:40...then the truck dies. Officially the worst morning.
Somehow the truck made it, spitting and sputtering, I am wet with sweat, my hair itches, I clock into work. My favorite part of the morning is drinking a cold Dt Mtn Dew. Yeah, I have no cups at work. They are all gone. It takes about 2 hours for a can to get cold.
I....could be dead.

Miss Lori Tate, as in mother of the groom in Steel Magnolias, lets me know every morning what is wrong with something I am wearing, my hair, I don't have the music up loud enough, to change the tv channel...anyway, this was today:
Lori- I don't like your lipstick
Me- I am not wearing lipstick
Lori- you lie
Me- I don't wear any of that stuff, not even lip gloss
Lori- you lie
Me- *wipes my lips on my hand*
Me- See?
Lori- huh...
Me- Told you so. Go back to your corner.
Lori- *starts walking to her corner* You need to wear dress shoes...
Me- *sighs*

^^my harlot lips^^

May 22-
I need an off day.
I feel like Juliet here.

May 23-
How many more days until I am off?

Callie is still jealous.

They get excited when Scott goes to the kitchen:

May 24-
I need a vacation. Like for real.

Where I move, they move.

I washed Diva Dog's favorite blanket, and put a temporary blanket in her bed. Wrong. She drug it out and then sat on the floor.

Later, I put it back in, she is fine.


May 25-
I think I am getting sick. Hate. Spent most of my off day with a headache cursing anything that moved.

I feel like this wet dog.

*Someone* got too much sun:

May 26-
Sick. I hate being sick. I managed to scrape myself up off of the floor and went to Jason's birthday soiree'.
Bought groceries, watched the race, went to sleep.

Callie is getting so bad, today she got in Shug's bed.

May 27-
Not as sick. Still ready to go home and curl up in my comfy chair.
I hate HughesNet. I can't begin to describe my hatred for HughesNet.

Walked 2 miles tonight. I almost walked off the calories from the mayo I had with my corn dog.

May 28-
Not much besides work, walking, and Mythbusters.

May 29-
I mowed the grass this evening for 90 minutes, until I ran out of sunlight. Scott filled the tank up twice. I am still not finished. I smell. I entered it into and it said I burned 1080 calories. I thought, this can't be right. I went to, and it said just over 1,000. I triple check with another app, and it has closer to 1200. I have redeemed that pizza I ate for dinner!!!!

This is really only funny if you know Scott and how dramatic our conversations are. We have different bathrooms, and by that I mean one has all of my stuff it in, and the second one has both of our stuff in it. His shower is cooler, too. When I fold the towels, I split them into two piles, half go to his linen closet and the other to mine.
He comes out today, and suggests a conspiracy.
Scott: That's it. I have figured you out. You put all the nice towels in your bathroom, and I get the dish towel, the ball scratcher towel, and this ******** with a mothra crater in it!!!

Me: oh hush, I do not.

Later that night I went to shower, and I usually bring my own towel to his shower, but I didn't, I open his closet and indeed, they were all either small, scratchy, or had holes.

I am still not sure what a mothra crater is..

May 30-
People can be mean.
I hate my bank.
I hurt from the inside out.
I have decided to just do everything myself and not ask for help. When I do, I am "bitchy"

I know, I am terrible.

May 31-
I fell asleep watching Criminal Minds on the couch, Callie starts barking at midnight. I moved to the bed, closed my eyes, and I hear my neighbors car alarm go off. Callie only barks when someone is outside, or she has to pee. I knew she didn't have to pee. I tell Scott I think someone is out there, and he grunts. I get up, all ninja cop like, check all of the windows, and only see out of the ordinary, my neighbors kitchen light on and their back door open. I didn't see any lurkers, but I don't know who else would have been on our porch. They didn't steal my lime green polka dotted pig, so we're cool.
And I checked, both neighbors are alive and were not hacked to death in their sleep.
I am totally neighbor of the year.

Today consisted of Criminal Minds (6 seasons in just over a month), cleaning, Midol, and an awesome salad for dinner.
Scott said he is going to lay down in my bath tub.
Damn, he is going to find my towel stash.

Tonight he said he wants to watch movies and eat popcorn. If there isn't any pain killers in that popcorn I am not interested. I do have Red Dawn and Zero Dark Thirty to watch.
And 31 more DVR'd episodes of Criminal Minds.

So I am watching "North America" on The Discovery Channel. I love love stuff like this.
I will watch any documentary you throw at me, but I particularly love learning and seeing things and places that I know I will never get to see in person.
"Planet Earth" and "Life" convinced me to finally agree to an HD tv.

So, back to me.
Now I am semi intelligent, and I know how life works. Animals have to kill and eat other animals to survive. I get this. I just don't have to watch it.
It doesn't bother me to watch birds die though, EXCEPT when the baby penguin gets eaten in March of the Penguins. By a vulture!! Cannibals!!!
Anyway, I don't like watching any non fowl animal die or fight.

There are animals here that are walking miles and miles a day to find water. Some are dropping dead. Now you know people have water. They could have set up a trough or something. I know, I know, circle of life, no interfering, blah blah.

We come to sea turtles. Hundreds upon hundreds of mama sea turtles laying eggs and then going back to the sea.
The eggs begin to hatch.
I am clapping and like YAY!! baby turtles.
They head to sea.
Birds appear. Always freaking birds. Crabs appear. All kinds of different predators appear for these baby turtles just trying to make it to sea.
On average, out of 100 eggs, 5 make it to sea. FIVE!

I began yelling at the tv. PICK UP THE TURTLES CAMERA MAN!!!!
I would be picking them up and chunking them as fast as I could.

IF you ever wonder why I am not a cameraman for the Discovery Channel, now you know.

I hope your month was as dramatic as mine.

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