Emotionally retarded

A friend of mine was talking about romance tonight. I am 32 years old, married almost 7 years. I don't have a clue what romance is. So, I asked Scott. He replied, "I don't know. Low lights, soft music. Stuff like that".

Well that is malarkey I never understood the buying women flowers. I've received many a bouquet in my lifetime, and the best part wasn't the flowers, or the cards, but just the fact he took a second of his day to think about me. Scott buys me Slim Jims and Icees. He knows what I like.

But seriously, if you're looking for love, skip the Kenny G and instead mop the floor. Take out the trash. That's how you get rewarded my friends.

I'm not saying I don't like gifts. I'm currently whoring myself out for some Coach Poppy perfume as we speak. (Insert reminder my birthday is November 13).

I am not anti girly gestures. I love it when a man holds a door open for me. And not just because I'm carrying all of the heavy stuff. I love the texts or quick calls just to say you were thinking about me.

The same goes for me finding things sexy. I honestly don't know what "sexy" is. I see a dude shirtless, with muscles, I think "oh please put on a shirt". I see a hairy pudgy belly man with a big smile and sincere eyes, and I think "cute!". So yeah, if I had to pick a "sexy" man, it would be Adam Richman. He's funny, smart, and I could eat whatever I wanted on a date. I think Jesse Williams is the most beautiful man alive. But sexy? I don't know. Can he change my flat tire?

Maybe it's a trait I lack. I don't know anyone else that can't identify love in that sense. It makes me sound a tad prudish, but I am not. In fact, holding my face while you kiss me, or a simple brushing of your hand across my face, and I'm yours. :)



Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T