Okay- aside from Catoptrophobia (fear of mirrors in the dark) I suffer from good ol' Musophobia- fear of mice. That's right. I wish death upon Mickey and Minnie. I. Hate. Them. Nothing makes me feel more violated and unsafe.
So you know those 2 liter cups you get at the convenience store? The ones so big they don't fit in the cup holder? I love them because I believe all beverages should be never ending, I dislike them because they're too big to fit in any cabinet.
I have a bad habit of opening a canned drink and forgetting about it, so when it comes time to clean off my night stand, I use one of those titanic glasses to pour the wasted drink in, and put the cans in a separate bag for recycling. How green of me. What's bad is when I bagged the cans then took them to the back door, I forgot about the glass sitting next to my trash can. Until 1am.
I am sound asleep but I was woken by the oddest noise. I turned on the lamp expecting one of the kittens to be into something, but they were all asleep on the bed. Then I found it. A little mouse somehow had managed to climb the glass without tipping it, and got stuck inside. Because the glasses are 8 freaking feet tall. There wasn't much Dt Mtn Dew in there, so I knew the glass didn't weigh much. I grabbed a book to set on top, so it wouldn't do a flying mouse death charge at me, and then I sat and thought- do I just leave it? Could I really go back to sleep knowing an innocent animal is dying? You're damn right I could. But I knew there was a chance the glass would topple and the thing would be so jacked up on Mtn Dew it would come straight for my jugular. So I went the best route. The card I very rarely play. The girl card. I woke up my husband.
After snorting, scoffing, telling me to do it, stomping his feet, and throwing his hands in the air, he finally picked up the glass and threw it out. My hero.
On a "oh chiz" note, my cat Luci got outside when he opened the door, so I know there will be one less mouse in the world. And she will probably get impregnated. Because she is a whore.
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2 comments:
That's funny stuff!!! Love it!
Don't feel bad about using the girl card...I use it mostly for him to open jars I can't open and to kill spiders..not that I'm too afraid of them because he is LOL...and now he has made my son scared of them too!! Loved the cat whore part!!
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